Find Your Tribe, Find Your Identity: An Autistic ADHDer Tale
We sit down with Navya Adhikarla, an autistic ADHDer who shares her story of social isolation and alienation both in the U.S. and India. Her lifelong struggle with identity, coupled with the roadblocks she experienced in education and business, led her to becom a champion of psychological safety and advocate for neurodiverse accommodations -- transitioning from invisibility to authenticity.
We Also Cover:
- Neurodiversity as a Workplace Asset
- The Complexities of Social Interaction
- Reclaiming Identity Beyond Societal Expectations
- Trust Through Vulnerability
- Self-Advocacy and Self-Efficacy
- Imposter Syndrome
- Culture Differences in Neurodiversity Awareness Between India and United States
Quotes:
- "And I guess that's that's the whole story of my life because I've been searching for so many things outside, but eventually, I end up creating them myself."
- "The thing that you're searching for is right inside you. It's just you. You don't have to go searching for it."
- "You truly want someone to hear you out and see you, and you don't want to be invisible."
- "I'm super scared about when I will find a place that will truly see me, truly cherish me for who I am and the skills I have, because I don't want to save my skills or capacities for anything. I want to utilize them to do something good."
About Navya Adhikarla:
An insatiably curious and innovative designer, Navya brings an interdisciplinary perspective to complex challenges. With an engineering degree and a Duke University Master’s in Engineering Management, she has experience in program management, go-to-market consulting, tech ethics research, IT consulting, and university leadership. Navya applies human-centered, inclusive design thinking to product, marketing, strategy, and accessibility projects. Her core values of integrity, empathy, courage, and hope guide her approach.
Connect with Navya:
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/asnbhhanu5/
- https://navyaadhikarla.wordpress.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/half.cooked.artist/
- https://thefryingpansandflyingpuns.wordpress.com/
Related Reading:
- (Don’t) Look me in the Eye: The Challenge of Eye Contact – Psychological Safety - Guest Post by Navya
As always, thanks for lending us your ears and keep igniting that spark!
Stay Connected:
- Website: https://sparklaunchpodcast.com/
- ADHD Coaching & Workshops: https://www.sparklaunch.org/
- Chaya on Instagram
- Mike on Instagram
- Want To Be a Guest? https://sparklaunchpodcast.com/booking
Transcript
You've landed at Spark Launch, the guide star for embracing what it means to be neurodiverse.
Speaker:I'm Mike Cornell, joined by CEO of Spark Launch, Chaya Mallavaram.
Speaker:Here, we navigate mental health triumphs and tribulations from all across the spectrum, charting a course to the shared experiences that unite us and discovering how to embody the unique strengths within neurodivergent and neurotypical alike, igniting your spark and launching it into a better tomorrow.
Speaker:Hello there.
Speaker:I am, as always, Mike.
Speaker:I'm Chaya.
Speaker:And today, we have Navya Adhikarla, an autistic ADHDer known for her inclusive, innovative and ethical leadership.
Speaker:Navya is an internationally published writer and advocate for psychological safety and brings her engineering background from India and a master's degree from Duke University to leadership roles in industry.
Speaker:Passionate about holistic empowerment and human centered design, Navya is also a talented artist and poet.
Speaker:Welcome to the show.
Speaker:Hi, Mike.
Speaker:Hi, Caya.
Speaker:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker:Thank you for joining us, Navya.
Speaker:It means a lot.
Speaker:Whatever you share today is going to empower other neurodivergent people, and I we won't feel so alone.
Speaker:So let's dive into Navya's story.
Speaker:So, Navya, if you can tell us about your childhood, your the culture in India, because like me, you grew up in India and and how that had an impact on your neurodivergent mind and anything you want to share about your upbringing that'll help us understand the cultural differences and give some insight to the viewers to the listeners.
Speaker:I feel like I've been asked a brief about my autobiography because there's a lot to say.
Speaker:There's a lot to, I guess, remember and also speculate.
Speaker:There's just so much stuff over the last 25 something years.
Speaker:But I'll start somewhere.
Speaker:I guess everywhere, every time in at every point in life, I've always felt different, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why.
Speaker:School was really tough for me.
Speaker:Not because I I couldn't study well.
Speaker:I was academically very gifted.
Speaker:In fact, I've written most of my exams without studying at all because I have a photographic memory, and I used to remember everything from class.
Speaker:But, otherwise, my social life was very, very scary, and I struggled to make friendships in the first place.
Speaker:And out of the few that I did make, I often felt just out of place and they wouldn't last, and I would never know till date.
Speaker:I would I just cannot understand why I could not stay friends with someone or why they stopped talking to me.
Speaker:And I didn't struggle with learning at all.
Speaker:In fact, it came very natural to me, and and I guess I'm very sort of grateful for that because otherwise, I it would have made my social interactions much more difficult.
Speaker:I I am an only child for parents.
Speaker:I do not have any siblings.
Speaker:And often people would tell me that that is why I was feared, feared in double quotes because I didn't know how to mingle with people my age or I didn't know I would just I would just sort of stay in my own world, do my own thing, be it at home or at school, and I would go to no other place other than my home or school.
Speaker:For a very, very long time, I've longed for friendships.
Speaker:I think I still do.
Speaker:I would do everything I could to try to to try and fit in, to impress people or to just say, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:We have this in common, but it would never work.
Speaker:It would be so weird because if I wanted to be someone's friend, I would just go up to them and say, hey.
Speaker:I want to be your friend, which makes things all the more awkward, all the more weirder.
Speaker:So, yeah, very, very difficult social life, but an okay academic life.
Speaker:In fact, a great academic life.
Speaker:But that didn't last for long.
Speaker:I guess I've seen failure, different types of failure at a very early age.
Speaker:And so I thought I would hang on to my academic achievements to just, like, stay and survive, but then I could not hold on to them any longer than maybe, like, after class, after grade 10.
Speaker:And then the huge identity crisis that people like me are born with, like, it hits really hard at at that age.
Speaker:And I just wanted answers.
Speaker:I did not know what kind of questions I was asking.
Speaker:In fact, I I could not I did not have any vocabulary for to form those questions.
Speaker:I did not understand that I had an identity crisis because I just could not figure out who I was.
Speaker:I just knew that I could not fit in anywhere no matter where I was, no matter to what stage of life I was in.
Speaker:And so I would say I didn't have a childhood.
Speaker:That's what I keep telling.
Speaker:I guess the friends I do have now that I don't know how how it feels to have a friend or a group of friends.
Speaker:I don't know how it feels to hang out with people.
Speaker:Or I also don't have that many cousins my age.
Speaker:And so, yeah, I had 0 cousins at that at that age.
Speaker:And so I didn't I I just do not know how it feels to hang out with a bunch of people that care about you, that you can laugh with or that you can cry with.
Speaker:And I still long and crave for those experiences.
Speaker:So, yeah, my childhood was me just pretty much living in my own world, writing, drawing, painting, sketching, and thinking deeply and philosophically about life that no one understood, I guess.
Speaker:I also had a very distant father, emotionally father.
Speaker:And, yeah, I I only just remembered my my own self and my own world and nothing much from childhood.
Speaker:That said, I'm now at a stage in life where I want to rewrite all those experiences and probably relive my childhood and actually make true connections with not just my parents, but also people who could have been my friends.
Speaker:And it feels so amazing because I'm it's sort of, like, me redeeming my my own self and probably just going back in time in a way and trying to help that little girl who always felt out of faith.
Speaker:One thing that really stands out is that your deep desire to connect with people.
Speaker:And so what does, connection mean to you?
Speaker:That's a fair question because just the fact that we are humans and there are there's there's always this question in my head that is a common denominator, I would say, not the absolute truth, but there's a common denominator among all of humanity.
Speaker:For example, we all feel hunger.
Speaker:We all need love.
Speaker:We all need community.
Speaker:We all need certain things.
Speaker:And for me, it's just that it's I need a community because I'm human.
Speaker:I guess that's that's the simplest answer I could give.
Speaker:I've never experienced community.
Speaker:And so, I guess the lack of and also just this passion for, like, this passion to bring people together and the lack of community for most part of my life, I guess these 2 combined just create this intense desire in me for human connection.
Speaker:It's just I am human, and I need love.
Speaker:I need community.
Speaker:And I know everyone else does too.
Speaker:And irrespective of who they are, how they look, where they're from, I guess it's a human condition.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So it's it's I think for me, it's deep desire to be understood for who I truly am and have deep conversations.
Speaker:Mike and I have talked about how just talking about the weather and just that superficial talk doesn't cut it.
Speaker:We like to talk about deep the deep stuff.
Speaker:That's all I would say.
Speaker:And and and that has so much meaning and the purpose why we are here and how are we going to make a difference and and why the trauma and why we are not in joy all the time.
Speaker:Things like that.
Speaker:I love to talk about that.
Speaker:And I think we all, all of us in this neurodivergent community feel that
Speaker:way.
Speaker:I think if I can rephrase it, it's the desire to be seen and heard.
Speaker:Like, you truly want someone to hear you out and see you, and you don't want to be invisible.
Speaker:So, yeah, just people who care about you, and they want to see and hear you out.
Speaker:So
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And, you mentioned that you would go back to your childhood and advise the little Navya.
Speaker:What would that be?
Speaker:So this is this is already, this is story time because it was my birthday.
Speaker:Last year, it was my birthday on March 22nd 2023, and I was just walking with this person who's who works in my university, and she just happens to meet this really, like, really, really old friend.
Speaker:And this person who's a stranger to me just looks at me right in the eye and tells me that, you know, the thing that you've been looking all over, you know, around you for so long, it's inside you.
Speaker:And he just walks away after saying that I do not know the name of this person.
Speaker:He just said hi to me, and he says this really intense statement and he walks away.
Speaker:And I think that statement stuck with me ever since.
Speaker:And I guess that's that's the whole story of my life because I've been searching for so many things outside, but eventually, I end up creating them myself.
Speaker:So I guess that's exactly what I would go back and say to that little girl that, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:The thing that you're searching for is fight inside you.
Speaker:It's just you.
Speaker:You don't have to go searching for it.
Speaker:So, yeah, I I guess that's what I would tell her.
Speaker:That is so beautiful.
Speaker:That is the ultimate answer for everything.
Speaker:Self love.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:The love is inside of us.
Speaker:We don't have to seek outside and the external love will come automatically when we are aligned to our natural state being.
Speaker:Agreed.
Speaker:You talked about a bit how socialization was a struggle for you when you were younger.
Speaker:How do you approach that now that you have a deeper understanding of yourself and your own narrative urgency?
Speaker:How do you approach going about socialization that better aid you and kind of helps you achieve those social goals?
Speaker:I'm a very mindful person.
Speaker:I'm also a person with a management degree.
Speaker:Most people who come into management, if they're an introvert or if they are someone who's shy or reserved, they get into this whole, I don't know how to phrase it.
Speaker:It's more like a stereotype threat where you where people say you can't survive.
Speaker:You're not socializing.
Speaker:But, fortunately, I've never seen that as a threat.
Speaker:As I was saying, I'm a very mindful person, and I'm mindful about each and everything that I do, which includes approaching people, talking to them.
Speaker:And I do that with an intention of creating a relationship, not just because, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:I I want to exchange something that that never happens to me and that never worked.
Speaker:So there's this really mindful approach to seeking relationships, whether it be personal or professional.
Speaker:And, of course, I do my own homework.
Speaker:Again, both personal and professional because when I'm bringing someone when I'm giving someone the access to myself and I know my own work, I know what I who I am and who I want to be, I make sure that I'm making the right choices.
Speaker:Choices that I know are very informed.
Speaker:And by informed, I mean, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:This person I have a checklist.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:I have a checklist.
Speaker:Does this person have the core conditions?
Speaker:Do they actually care about people?
Speaker:Do they actually care about the work that they do?
Speaker:There are so many other things in my checklist, which I don't know how to wish to elaborate right now.
Speaker:It would take a long time.
Speaker:But, yeah, that is one checklist that I've created for myself.
Speaker:And and, yeah, I'm just very mindful of who I approach, and I know the worst case scenario in my head, technically, and I also know the best case scenario in my head.
Speaker:And I just do it scared sometimes.
Speaker:Does not mean just because I do it, it does not mean I'm not scared.
Speaker:I just do it scared.
Speaker:Something that my coach told me that courage is just doing it scared.
Speaker:So I do that.
Speaker:And of all the of all the professional and personal relationships that I've I have today, each and every one of those relationships is very meaningful to me, and I make sure that I communicate that to the other person.
Speaker:And it just makes life so much more simpler because I don't have to put up a facade or I don't have to worry about, you know, this barter system or this exchange of information and all of that.
Speaker:And I'm pretty honest and straightforward about it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I guess I just made my life simpler.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's so beautiful because you started trusting yourself and you realized how what works for you.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And then you started communicating from there and not looking at the societal rules and expectations.
Speaker:And and when that happens, it's just magical because you are living in your authentic space and just that itself is beautiful.
Speaker:I always think of, you know, if you're a bird, you have to be a bird.
Speaker:You can be a cheetah.
Speaker:You are who you are.
Speaker:And and the more we live in our authentic selves and learn learn skills, right?
Speaker:Just we all have things to learn.
Speaker:And so there are challenges that we need to overcome.
Speaker:But the more and more we are in our true selves and then learn skills that support that true self, it's it's beautiful and and it feels comfortable and it feels easy and it doesn't feel you have to do things because you're supposed to do it.
Speaker:For instance, wishing a friend for for their birthday.
Speaker:I now just let it go.
Speaker:I'm not hung over that give and take.
Speaker:And if I feel like I'll wish them, if I don't feel like I will not or or it's just if I remember, if I remember, I always wish I will never not intentionally wish.
Speaker:But if they are automatically in my memory, I will do that.
Speaker:So there's no give and take is I I exactly.
Speaker:Relationships are more authentic because there are friends that I don't call for 6 months or for a year.
Speaker:And and we just can pick up the phone and talk, like, as though we talked last night.
Speaker:And it's so beautiful.
Speaker:And those are the friendships that I cherish.
Speaker:But there are no it's not I might even forget to wish them for their birthday, and it's okay.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think I think what you're saying is you care about them as much as they care about you.
Speaker:And so this, yeah, this this expectation generally care about them and that's why you're offering whatever you're offering.
Speaker:You're not really expecting something in return.
Speaker:I guess those sorts of relationships are pretty rare, but they're also very empowering and meaningful.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And that's the one we should, really cherish and be grateful for.
Speaker:Because if you really look at a lot of things, right, the rules, the rules were all made with not pure intentions, I feel.
Speaker:Even a greeting card, for instance, instance, it was all popularized by a company who wanted to make money.
Speaker:And so a lot of the world actually goes by those rules.
Speaker:I mean, that was just an example.
Speaker:A lot of us have awakened from that, those rules.
Speaker:But but it's if you look at how those rules were made in the society, it was it was not from from pure intentions.
Speaker:It was not made from love.
Speaker:It was actually made from fear and and some kind of a control.
Speaker:I feel that's my interpretation of
Speaker:a lot of these rules.
Speaker:That's actually very interesting.
Speaker:I guess for 1, I only don't know who created what.
Speaker:I wish I could go and talk to them, but I feel like no matter no matter what thing we are talking about, there's always some sort of power imbalance that comes in that comes into place.
Speaker:Even if you create something with love, there's always going to be that one person who wants to take advantage of it, which again is human condition.
Speaker:It's not I mean, I'm I'm no more in here, but I guess it it it is there's there's always that imbalance and there's always that advantage this disadvantage sort of a situation.
Speaker:I also used to think in a similar way where I would feel pressurized or, you know, just some sort of pure pressure or some sort of societal pressure to do something because that's the that's that's the only way you can communicate.
Speaker:And I would never do that.
Speaker:I guess I was born a rebellion because I would never do anything that I was supposed to do.
Speaker:And so, this friend that, you know, this this really this really amazing friendship that I have, she told me that she had me reframe a lot of these things that I thought were very superficial because, you know, how you can change a superficial thing into a meaningful one if the moment that you care, it becomes meaningful.
Speaker:That's that's all she would say to me.
Speaker:And she helped me reframe a lot of these, you know, things that I'm still skeptical about.
Speaker:In fact, I'm not perfect.
Speaker:I'm still skeptical about a lot of things that people do, but she's helped me a lot in reframing those things.
Speaker:She would give me dating cards and things like that.
Speaker:Very funny because the moment you said greeting cards, I was reminded of her.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's just a small thank you note, but it means so much because, I guess the relationship means a lot.
Speaker:And I know that that person took her time to write it, and she wrote it with a lot of care even if it's just a single word.
Speaker:So that's that's what we must we don't care about a lot of things that we do in life.
Speaker:But the moment you start caring, I think it shifts the whole balance, I would say.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You brought about an important point, like, how you felt when you received that card, because you knew it was packed with love and it was not just based on some rule that she had to give a thank you card because she had to.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:You knew it was it was a lot bigger.
Speaker:We give meaning and we create meaning for any number of things in our in our lives, be it good or, you know, positive or or negative.
Speaker:I always say to people, we as humans always have a way of going, hey, I need to vent about something, but I know it's not that big of a deal, or it sounds stupid or it sounds belittling or or whatever else, but it has meaning to you.
Speaker:Otherwise, you wouldn't need to be speaking about it.
Speaker:Everything is a blank canvas you can assign meaning to based on how you personally feel.
Speaker:There is no rule book.
Speaker:At least they're not there shouldn't be a rule book for if something makes you happy.
Speaker:No one gets to belittle that and say, like, that's what makes you happy.
Speaker:You know, this little this little thing and the same thing when something bothers you.
Speaker:If it bothers you, it bothers you.
Speaker:It has meaning.
Speaker:I wanna go back to something you said earlier in regards to socialization, which is doing it scared.
Speaker:And I really I really like that because I first came across kind of the phrasing of if you can't do it safe, do it scared in regards to eating disorder recovery as a common, like, mantra to to be used.
Speaker:And I have found that it perfectly applies to a lot of things that come up with neurodiversity and particularly socialization because we end up having to do a lot of things scared.
Speaker:And why I think that is such interesting and kind of perfect advice for a neurodivergent is it's the acceptance of being afraid, of being anxious about something, of being nervous, and your reaction being nervous and terrified, which I do a lot of things that are I am terrified during the entire course of.
Speaker:And, you know, I'm I white knuckle it sometimes to get through it.
Speaker:But giving myself the permission to be scared, to be terrified, and allow myself to play a bit of the role of, hey.
Speaker:I'm scared of doing this.
Speaker:I'm gonna do it anyway, but I'm gonna allow my scary reaction to be part of this.
Speaker:It also helps with allowing yourself not to mask during those moments and give yourself back some much needed energy.
Speaker:So I really want to reiterate for people listening that whenever you feel like you can't do something safely or within the confines of your world or your bubble, that it's okay to do it scared.
Speaker:Like, just say you're doing it scared.
Speaker:I think I I want to add something to that.
Speaker:I guess, this is one of my life learnings that fear there's the good kind and the bad kind.
Speaker:The good kind of fear is fear.
Speaker:It's trying to protect you, and you should have fear.
Speaker:Otherwise, you would just, like, I don't know, stick your hand in in in the store or, like, you know, electric outlet or something.
Speaker:So fear is good.
Speaker:It is trying to protect you, and I guess I'm very grateful that I have fear.
Speaker:It's the bad kind of fear that you should care about and not the good kind of fear.
Speaker:Again, another connected point is again, I I guess everything is interconnected here, but my style of building trust with people is showing vulnerability.
Speaker:I guess that's a major part.
Speaker:My style of building trust is is still ongoing.
Speaker:It's like a living document sort of a thing.
Speaker:I'm just trying to design it.
Speaker:But right now, a major portion of it is showing people, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:I have my weaknesses and and I also have my strengths.
Speaker:And these are my quirks, and this is who I am.
Speaker:And just being very vulnerable takes a lot of courage, and it pays off really well.
Speaker:I guess when you're socializing, not just mindfulness and not just being very deliberate about your, you know, actions because, 1, neurodivergent people have very, very low energy.
Speaker:And so it's just like, you know what?
Speaker:If everyone else has a 1,000 units of energy to spend, you probably have 10 or 9 or 5 depending on how your day is going.
Speaker:And so to be very mindful and deliberate with that energy, with that amount of energy, and also, you know, just designing your own style of building trust, maybe through vulnerability, maybe through something else that comes naturally to you.
Speaker:I guess both those things have been really helpful for me.
Speaker:And, yeah, I I guess it's going to be helpful for a lot of other people too.
Speaker:Navi, I want to talk about culture, which you and I both share.
Speaker:We've spent time in India.
Speaker:I grew up in India.
Speaker:And of course, we were younger.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So it's not really a direct comparison.
Speaker:But how has living in a different culture helped you or maybe not?
Speaker:I would certainly say that it has been really helpful.
Speaker:So I moved to the US in 2022, and I moved there there to do my masters.
Speaker:And I guess I got a lot of breathers in my life during my time in grad school.
Speaker:And there's a stark contrast between where I come from, India and the US in terms of awareness about neurodiversity.
Speaker:There's some level of education, which is comparatively higher in the US, Also acceptance.
Speaker:And there's just so so much more space I felt for me.
Speaker:You know, divergent people need space and time, both space and time.
Speaker:And so I found a lot of space in the US.
Speaker:I'm not saying any anyone's perfect or any place is perfect.
Speaker:But for me, I've only been been in these two countries, and I would say that there's more education.
Speaker:There's more sort of support that is also legally tied, like accommodations and things like that.
Speaker:And there's more openness.
Speaker:You can just have an open conversation, at least a few people in one place when compared to the other.
Speaker:In India, I still travel no matter how much I learn about myself or no matter how much I strategize for myself and no matter how much strength I build in my own identities, I still feel not accepted in India.
Speaker:I still feel there's so much more to do.
Speaker:And with that comes this, you know, fatigue where you're just tired of explaining yourself, where you're tired of educating people.
Speaker:And it's just so much it's so energy draining.
Speaker:And on top of that, you do not get a breather.
Speaker:There's so much more, physical, you know, sensory issues involved.
Speaker:There's so much more cultural differences involved.
Speaker:You're supposed to be a certain way.
Speaker:You're supposed to do things a certain way.
Speaker:Whereas in the US, I guess, thanks to globalization, there's more openness and there's more acceptance of different culture and also different types of behaviors, I feel like.
Speaker:But, yeah, I would I would say education tolerance, and acceptance.
Speaker:These three d are just things that I found to be very different.
Speaker:You know, their meanings are so different in India, and then there's so much more I guess, there's so much more tolerance, and there's so much more accepted than education abroad or outside India.
Speaker:And Yeah.
Speaker:I guess that's that's that's what I would say.
Speaker:But I've also been, sort of following a little bit about following some news around the neurodiversity movement in India, and there's still a long way to go.
Speaker:Neurodiversity is still it's still not seen as a disability, but I am very happy that a lot has happened in the physical disability space so far with a couple of new laws coming up in a few states.
Speaker:But, yeah, there's a long, long way to go.
Speaker:And I'm still grateful and happy for the people who do get some sort of support in India.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I just wish it was so much more, you know, a larger in scale and more intense in impact.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You talked about space, and and I feel that too.
Speaker:I feel that I can be myself more here because I think we have room to experiment and people are not in your face.
Speaker:And and there's not that much judgment.
Speaker:I could never have picked career of my choice in India because there's that attachment to education and everything has to be proven and you should have a degree exactly in that field are the the the lack of trust.
Speaker:I feel at least with me being a software developer without having an engineering degree, I could not have pulled that off back in India.
Speaker:Absolutely not.
Speaker:And and what about me being an artist?
Speaker:I became a professional artist without going to a single class here.
Speaker:And nobody asked me, did you get a degree?
Speaker:They only looked at the end product and felt that that connection.
Speaker:And so even even even when I went to my interviews for as a software developer, they looked at my work.
Speaker:They my accounting degree was right there on the resume.
Speaker:In spite of that, they called and and gave me an opportunity.
Speaker:I am extremely grateful for that.
Speaker:I was able to blossom the way I wanted to.
Speaker:And I really doubt if that would have happened there.
Speaker:And and and it's just because, again, it's heavy with culture, which is good, but not good for people like us, where we we have to find ourselves and that space.
Speaker:We need that space.
Speaker:And yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I agree.
Speaker:You have so much more space and opportunities to, like, rewrite your work that is probably already you know, your work is already determined Yeah.
Speaker:You know, in India problem.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I I think I relate to that natively.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:What if it's neurodivergent people, what I've found is, like, when I look at myself, right, when the more and more I live in my neurodivergent mind, the more beautiful people think they're like, oh, wow.
Speaker:Your art is so beautiful.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:You're so it was up to me to find that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So it's not it's not from it's not that approval from external sources.
Speaker:So I have to kind of shut off my ears to comments and keep believing in myself.
Speaker:So that is challenging.
Speaker:It's very challenging because we, as humans, we seek that approval.
Speaker:But but just to shut off from that external world and just keep believing, keep trusting and keep figuring out ways to learn new things that honors your brain.
Speaker:Can be very scary.
Speaker:It is very extremely.
Speaker:For me, just starting this podcast, starting spark launch, it was scary, but it was what what was my desire to help people.
Speaker:That one thing just pushed me.
Speaker:It was it was it's very fearful.
Speaker:I don't have an MBA
Speaker:if you look at
Speaker:the world, but but guess what?
Speaker:I love strategizing people.
Speaker:I love connecting with people.
Speaker:I love talking about the truth, which my voice was shut off because I always spoke the truth.
Speaker:And and I had so many comments in my childhood that that just shut my voice off.
Speaker:And and so the more I started trusting myself, I think the world also will see that it's not just me, but they'll catch up.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I could not agree more.
Speaker:How does your neurodivergent awareness impact your professional career?
Speaker:How much time do we have?
Speaker:Because there's so much that I want to say.
Speaker:So, again, it took me 25 something years to just to just discover vocabulary that I can use to describe myself, and I'm still not all the way there.
Speaker:There's still something new that I'm discovering about myself every day.
Speaker:And what pains me is that I have to survive too, that I have also have to have a job, pay my bills, and things like that.
Speaker:And the other parallel is I only want I I guess I really want to help people out.
Speaker:Like Jaya was saying this, I I I just can't not help people out.
Speaker:I can't not do the things that I want to do.
Speaker:And so just aligning all these three parallels together is it's just it's probably just very close to impossible and it's a it's a daily struggle.
Speaker:And I to be very honest, I so far, my neurodivergence has been unwelcome, unwelcome in a lot of professional spaces.
Speaker:Yet, I'm still hopeful that the next professional chapter that I'm going to have is going to be so much more better because I've learned so much.
Speaker:I've learned so much both about myself and also the external world.
Speaker:And there's still a lot of fears that I have.
Speaker:There's just this huge list of fears that I do have.
Speaker:You know, one is the risk of burnout, the risk of, you know, the self advocacy fatigue that I was talking about.
Speaker:And it's so much it's it's difficult to educate people as is, and it's so much more difficult once you're in industry where people are more rigid.
Speaker:And, yeah, I'm just super scared to super scared about when I will find a place or a place that will truly see me and, like, truly cherish me for who I am and make the right deals of what I want to do and the skills I do have because I don't want to save my skills or capacities for anything.
Speaker:I want to utilize them to do something good, to find that workplace where all three parallels align for me is going to be, yeah, next to impossible, and it scares me every moment of my life.
Speaker:I just do not want to be miserable at all.
Speaker:And the other part, maybe the less important ones, maybe with respect to socializing and things like that.
Speaker:I sometimes do scare I do a lot of things scared, and I just end up learning that the other person also is figuring it out.
Speaker:They are also very human, and that sort of gives me more hope that, you know, my professional career is going to be so much better because the people that I'm dealing with are also humans who are not perfect, like, like, the ones in my head, and I don't have to be perfect either.
Speaker:I just have to show them that I'm different and different is needed in this world.
Speaker:They are there this one really needs more people like me.
Speaker:And, yeah, the more I do things in my professional space, the more closer I get to this, you know, fact that people need me.
Speaker:They need me, and that's why I'm here.
Speaker:But it's still very scary.
Speaker:It's still very tough.
Speaker:There's a lot of compassion.
Speaker:There's so much more, you know, impostor syndrome that goes on.
Speaker:And neurodivergent people experiencing impostor syndrome is just super, super difficult, and it's super scary because you can't explain it.
Speaker:It's just it's just very, I guess, unexplainable, and sometimes it feels like it's unsolvable.
Speaker:And I think that stems from the fact that a lot of people like me have identity crisis.
Speaker:So you really don't know who you are, and you you don't fit in and so hard to find your own tribe.
Speaker:And then imposter syndrome just adds, you know, fuel to the fire.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think because we are a minority in the world and we work differently, our minds work differently, it is challenging.
Speaker:The more and more we believe we are needed and we are beautiful and show up in our authentic self, I guess it's gonna make an impact.
Speaker:It's it is.
Speaker:You have to believe that.
Speaker:We, of course, need Navya in this world to show her authenticity.
Speaker:Just our conversation today will be heard and will touch so many hearts because it's it's it's a vibration.
Speaker:And I truly believe that authentic heart vibration has larger impact.
Speaker:And that is what confidence is.
Speaker:When you are confident from a vulnerable place, it's so much beautiful to confidence is not using big words.
Speaker:It's not speaking loudly.
Speaker:It's not not saying the umms and ahs and and appearing a certain way.
Speaker:It's not that.
Speaker:Confidence is being authentic, being vulnerable, being true, which you are.
Speaker:So you have to believe that you will make a huge impact and that you might feel that impact when it's supposed to come to you.
Speaker:So you have to trust the universe in that.
Speaker:So there's no timeline.
Speaker:There's there's it's gonna come back.
Speaker:Of course, it's gonna come back.
Speaker:That's the law of the universe.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I agree.
Speaker:I guess the more I I totally agree to what you said.
Speaker:Less about what your people are doing.
Speaker:It's more about what you're actually doing.
Speaker:And also the fact that I mean, another important factor is, are you really learning?
Speaker:I guess learning is so much more important, not just how to talk or how to speak.
Speaker:I guess that matters very less.
Speaker:And what matters more is, are you learning about yourself?
Speaker:Are you learning about, I don't know, humans?
Speaker:Are you learning something that will change your life or the lives of others?
Speaker:I guess that's one point that a lot of people miss, and they just they just run behind something that they don't that they don't know if they care about it, I guess.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It can be very messy and very confusing.
Speaker:What would you say are, like, a big point that you would like to see altered in your in the professional world you you exist in that would better be inclusive for neurodivergent individuals?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think the first one would be more education.
Speaker:And where most employers miss is their own employees are the best educators.
Speaker:They probably don't need people outside.
Speaker:They don't need a book.
Speaker:They need to listen to people and really care about their employees.
Speaker:That's where they get, you know, true information from.
Speaker:And, you know, a lot of these things can be just, for lack of a better word, solved.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:In a second, you just have to listen to people who are working in the same space as you.
Speaker:And I noticed that that does not happen in a lot of work play workplaces.
Speaker:So, yeah, education from your own colleagues, from your own peers, just be open to learning.
Speaker:And the second one would be, I guess I guess it it's it's really tied to caring for your employees.
Speaker:Once you listen to them, you are naturally inclined to accommodating them.
Speaker:I guess I wish I in school, at university, and also in my workplace.
Speaker:And so, yeah, accommodations is a huge, huge help.
Speaker:And it need not just be a physical accommodation.
Speaker:It could be anything that brings psychological safety to your team.
Speaker:It could be as simple as, hey.
Speaker:You know what?
Speaker:Give me a heads up, you know, before a meeting or give me a list of pointers or just switch on the, you know, closed captions for this video meeting.
Speaker:It could be just anything it need, not just be a physical accommodation.
Speaker:It could be anything to make that person feel safe enough to give him their best walk.
Speaker:That's how you care about employees, and that's how you're going to get the best out of your employees, I guess.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Education and accommodations would be my top 2, you know, priority advices for, professional spaces to become better.
Speaker:And there's a lot more.
Speaker:I just feel like I'm put on the spot and I can't remember a lot a lot of the things that I think about, but, yeah, definitely education and listening to our employees.
Speaker:Just listen to them and care about them enough to accommodate them.
Speaker:I agree.
Speaker:Awareness is is lacking just everywhere because a lot of neurodivergent people don't know they're neurodivergent, especially in my age group.
Speaker:It was not known.
Speaker:And I discovered that I was neurodivergent when my son got diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker:Otherwise, I would still be trying to be a neurotypical person.
Speaker:So I'm extremely grateful for my son.
Speaker:And and so the awareness is huge.
Speaker:And also my advice to other neurodivergent people is to not allow the stigma to stop them from claiming their neurodivergence and speak up and be brave even though it's fearful and not let anything stop you from being who you are.
Speaker:So we need to employers need to listen, but also employees need to speak up and ask for what they want to do and and accept their neurodivergent and not look at it as a disorder because the world keeps saying there's something wrong.
Speaker:There's absolutely nothing wrong with us.
Speaker:Our brains are beautiful.
Speaker:Our minds are beautiful.
Speaker:Our hearts are beautiful.
Speaker:So there's nothing wrong.
Speaker:We're just different.
Speaker:We process things differently.
Speaker:So stop thinking of it as as a negative.
Speaker:And and if there's a doubt, if you are neurodivergent, just go get tested.
Speaker:There are experts in that field and there's nothing wrong with being neurodivergent.
Speaker:So let's not try to fit in.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Our brains are not out of order.
Speaker:They're just arranged differently.
Speaker:That's why I don't like calling I I hate the term autism spectrum disorder.
Speaker:You know, we're not disordered.
Speaker:It's just how our brains are wired.
Speaker:And to go off of what you were saying, when you advocate for yourself, you also are advocating for others.
Speaker:So anytime you are able to speak up and say, I need now this is something I struggle with.
Speaker:I there's an accommodation that I need that leads the way into others like you being able to also speak up and also have those accommodations served to them.
Speaker:So it's always important.
Speaker:Never feel like you're being selfish.
Speaker:For one thing, there's no such thing as being selfish whenever you require accommodations for any number of reasons.
Speaker:You would not tell someone who needs a wheelchair ramp that they're being selfish because they can't get upstairs.
Speaker:It works the same way.
Speaker:Even if you just need, like, hey.
Speaker:I occasionally need to just go into a quiet space for a little while, and I need to censor down.
Speaker:That that's a perfectly acceptable accommodation.
Speaker:It's it's all perfectly acceptable to you because it's something you require.
Speaker:And anytime you put that out there, you are building self efficacy for other people to be able to receive the same level of help and hopefully the bravado to put themselves out there and ask for help.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm I'm glad we have this show, and, and I hope just people listening to us will will help it'll help them own up to their neurodivergent minds and not just accept suffering as part of their life because a lot of people suffer when they're not being who they are.
Speaker:So just just accepting and living in our authentic self is is beautiful.
Speaker:It's scary, but it's beautiful.
Speaker:So thank you, Navya, today of coming and sharing your beautiful soul with us.
Speaker:Thank you so much for inviting me.
Speaker:It was it was wonderful having you.
Speaker:How can people follow you on any social media or websites?
Speaker:Where where can you be discovered?
Speaker:I'm on LinkedIn, Navdya Adhikarla.
Speaker:I I can share it with you, then you can share it with your audience.
Speaker:And I also have a couple of websites which I shall share with you as well.
Speaker:I'll be sure to include them all in the show notes.
Speaker:So for anyone listening, you can find all links to Navya right there.
Speaker:As always, I am @followshisghost on Instagram.
Speaker:Also, the same thing on Facebook.
Speaker:There, you can also find my links to some peer support groups, including my neurodiversity group, Motley Minds, which if you follow that specific link, you get the 1st month free, and also some other peer support groups I do for a nonprofit called pay what you can peer support.
Speaker:And please, if you have enjoyed this podcast, review us, rate us on whatever your preferred podcast listening method is, and Spark launch can, as always, be found at sparklaunch.org.
Speaker:Jaya, anything else you wanna throw in there?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:If if you can reach me on LinkedIn, I would love to hear from people who want to be a guest on the show and share their story and share the authenticity, we love to have you.
Speaker:So just don't hesitate to reach out to us.
Speaker:And and spark launch offers coaching where you can transform from place of lack to a place of empowerment and success and happiness within yourselves.
Speaker:Just don't don't be afraid or just don't hesitate to reach out to us.
Speaker:We are always here to support you on your journey.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And speaking of coming on the show, anyone maybe wants to give to the show and maybe not appear on it, you're free to just write us an email or send us a message any way you'd like, and we can just, you know, read your story or your thoughts or anything else and talk about it.
Speaker:So if there is any way to connect to the show, feel free to to explore that.
Speaker:As for all us, thank you for joining us, and we will see you next time.
