Mike and Chaya sit down with Jane Singleton, a learning specialist, executive coach, and founder of Launchpad for Life. With over a decade of experience in education, Jane shares how her early experiences advocating for people with disabilities ignited her passion for helping neurodivergent individuals thrive. She discusses the gaps in traditional schooling, the importance of effective communication, and the transformative power of understanding your own cognitive profile to build sustainable habit change.
Mike and Chaya sit down with Jane Singleton, a learning specialist, executive coach, and founder of Launchpad for Life. With over a decade of experience in education, Jane shares how her early experiences advocating for people with disabilities ignited her passion for helping neurodivergent individuals thrive. She discusses the gaps in traditional schooling, the importance of effective communication, and the transformative power of understanding your own cognitive profile to build sustainable habit change.
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About Jane Singleton:
Jane has over 13 years experience as an educational leader, learning specialist and collaborative work with clinical psychologists has given her a unique understanding of cognitive and emotional profiles. She is the founder and executive coach at Launchpad for life, LLC and helps clients build awareness around strengths and areas of growth. She specializes in identifying root causes of motivation, self-esteem and communication difficulties. She is a certified ICF executive coach. She has created engaging presentations for diverse institutions on topics such as building cognitive efficiency, growing and maintaining self-esteem and motivation, effective communication and building decision-making frameworks.
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[Mike] Hello there.
[Mike] I'm Mike.
[Chaya] I'm Chaya.
[Mike] And today, we wanna welcome onto the show Jane Singleton, the founder of Launchpad for Life and with thirteen years of experience as a learning specialist and educational leader, and of course is an ICF certified executive coach.
[Mike] She helps clients build awareness around their cognitive and emotional profiles to create sustainable habit change that can help them leverage their strengths to reach their career and life goals.
[Mike] She has developed customized training for organizations on topics such as executive functioning, effective communication, growing, and maintaining self esteem and motivation along with cognitive efficiency.
[Mike] Welcome to the show, Jane.
[Jane Singleton] Thanks for having me.
[Chaya] Welcome, Jane. When I meet an entrepreneur, I love to understand where their deep passion is coming because there's always an energy from inside that that is bursting to happen.
[Chaya] And so what is your story?
[Jane Singleton] So my story, I think I'll try to make a long story short in some ways.
[Jane Singleton] I think my first inspiration for working with people with disabilities honestly started in high school.
[Jane Singleton] I used to work as a camp counselor for a camp that was specific for people with disabilities, mostly physical disabilities.
[Jane Singleton] And I was, you know, I did for a couple summers.
[Jane Singleton] I was, like, 17, and I got to know the campers really well.
[Jane Singleton] Some of them were really close in my age.
[Jane Singleton] And one of them brought up, like, why are we doing this, like, child's play stuff at camp?
[Jane Singleton] Like, I like Britney Spears too.
[Jane Singleton] I was just like, this girl will forever be in my mind.
[Jane Singleton] I like Britney Spears too.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, you're right.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, so we kind of created this campaign to play Britney Spears instead of some of the other stuff that was going on at camp.
[Jane Singleton] But to me, it was like that teenage moment where you're like, maybe the adults aren't always getting it right, if that makes sense.
[Jane Singleton] And it really stuck with me that I feel I felt like people with disabilities weren't being listened to.
[Jane Singleton] And I think from there, I became an ally.
[Jane Singleton] I studied psychology and did a lot of research in my capstone for an after school program for kids with ADHD.
[Jane Singleton] Later went on to get my master's in special ed.
[Jane Singleton] And then through building programs for the past thirteen years in independent schools where it's not quite as bureaucratic and there's a gray area to help kids, and I'm I was creating protocols.
[Jane Singleton] I found over time that we weren't always addressing the issues that they needed to the skills, I should say.
[Jane Singleton] The skills they really needed to be successful in life, like college and career where there's more independence.
[Jane Singleton] And the idea for my business ironically came from a colleague who said, Jane, you really know your stuff.
[Jane Singleton] Like, out of the blue, she comes up to me and she was like, have you ever thought about working with adults?
[Jane Singleton] Like, I have a stepdaughter, and this is the scenario, and I just there's no help out there.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, I haven't, but I was like, I think I could be really into this.
[Jane Singleton] And that was my first client, and honestly, from there, I was like, this is way better than helping a student pass an math test.
[Jane Singleton] Like, this is so much more important.
[Jane Singleton] There's these huge gaps, and I realized even with the best intentions and the best school systems, I feel like how we deal with, like, facilitating and supporting kids that have learning disabilities, we their self esteem gets chipped at over time.
[Jane Singleton] And then they start to self doubt to an extent where they just always assume in the workplace that their manager's right.
[Jane Singleton] And so I got to coach, I was like, well, actually, I've had a lot of bad bosses.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, not everybody knows what they're doing.
[Jane Singleton] And my client had shared with me that she shared that she, you know, told a coworker that she had dyslexia, and someone was like, can't you just take a pill for that?
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, wow.
[Jane Singleton] We really, like, don't have a shared baseline knowledge of what learning disabilities are, and how impossible does that make that to be, like, appropriately supported in the workplace.
[Jane Singleton] And so from there, I was like, it's not enough to do bottom up, Right?
[Jane Singleton] Working with the individuals with neurodivergent needs.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, we have to start educating organizations.
[Jane Singleton] So I was like, I'm gonna get my leadership certification.
[Jane Singleton] What does every manager need to know about the brain?
[Jane Singleton] Because there's a larger piece there, whether you're formally diagnosed or not.
[Jane Singleton] Why wouldn't organizations, like, want to know more about, hey.
[Jane Singleton] You can notice these patterns in the people that you supervise, and then you should think about that in how you leverage teams, for example.
[Jane Singleton] Or please stop asking Dan to do the scheduling if he has horrible attention to detail.
[Jane Singleton] Like, why are you setting him up for failure?
[Jane Singleton] And I think the larger piece over time, both in, you know, education and in working in organizations and with leaders, is they don't know.
[Jane Singleton] And when we don't know, neurotypical people, like, shut down and they don't ask questions.
[Jane Singleton] They're just, like, embarrassed.
[Jane Singleton] They're like, this person doesn't know how to do this thing, and I feel so awkward about being direct about it.
[Jane Singleton] And so the miscommunication begins and rolls on.
[Jane Singleton] So I just I love effective communication.
[Jane Singleton] I it I do think it's a talent of mine.
[Jane Singleton] I really love sharing that because I think if we had less miscommunication, like, ultimately, everybody would be in a better place.
[Chaya] From your story, I can tell you have incredible amount of empathy, even even as a child, even as a teenager.
[Chaya] And I wonder if you do consider yourself as neurodivergent.
[Chaya] Also, I'd love to for you to share the gaps that you see in schooling today because my son went to a private school.
[Chaya] I paid a lot of money for that.
[Chaya] But it I mean, my husband and I, but it still didn't satisfy.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] And I didn't even know why I was sending it.
[Chaya] My subconsciously, it was because of my challenges.
[Chaya] But I had overcome a lot of my challenges through my career, doing what I love and what I'm passionate about.
[Chaya] But I knew schooling was incredibly important.
[Chaya] So our focus was to send him to some of the best schools, but he still experienced a lot of challenges.
[Chaya] In fact, I wonder if he would have he's better off in a public school.
[Chaya] You always wonder, right?
[Chaya] So and I've spoken to other parents who have ADHD children who feel the same.
[Chaya] They felt it was a waste of money after going through that journey.
[Chaya] So what is what do you have to share?
[Jane Singleton] Oh, I have so many thoughts on this.
[Jane Singleton] I I mean, I think school placement is so tricky.
[Jane Singleton] I think if we put a kid in an environment where they're constantly feeling less than and they don't have people that they can identify with I mean, we all struggle at something.
[Jane Singleton] I think that is so true.
[Jane Singleton] I think we we're actually creating an environment where they tend to not be willing to, like, embrace their weaknesses, which we all have.
[Jane Singleton] We have strengths and weaknesses.
[Jane Singleton] But if I'm in an environment where I don't feel comfortable, I'm not gonna advocate.
[Jane Singleton] I'm not gonna ask for help.
[Jane Singleton] And therefore, I'm losing out on a lot of learning.
[Jane Singleton] And then I'm also losing out probably on showing up authentically and making good social connections or even feeling comfortable in my own skin.
[Jane Singleton] And so, as you can imagine, those skill sets of self advocacy, asking for help, you know, going to office hours in college, or talking to your boss about what you need, all of those are essential.
[Jane Singleton] And I think sometimes too as parents, I'm just I do a lot of parent coaching.
[Jane Singleton] I do a lot of speaking engagements with parents.
[Jane Singleton] And I think as a mentor, I don't care if you're a parent, a teacher, somebody who just wants to be an ally for people who are neurodivergent.
[Jane Singleton] You really have to sit with yourself and think, what are my own biases with learning disabilities?
[Jane Singleton] There's a long, long, dare I say, dark history with special education and learning support.
[Jane Singleton] I've worked with, you know, I I was kind of a gatekeeper of whether we should move forward with an evaluation, and I was like the face of recommending that.
[Jane Singleton] And sometimes parents, they were in special education, and they had a horrible experience, and they're scarred from it.
[Jane Singleton] And then they were like, I don't, I I'm going to shove this away.
[Jane Singleton] I don't want my kid to identify with this at all.
[Jane Singleton] And that has the opposite effect.
[Jane Singleton] If we can't embrace, like, what we need, we are stigmatizing that.
[Jane Singleton] And I think with the best of intentions, mentors, whatever role that is in that child's life, that's playing out.
[Jane Singleton] And you know what?
[Jane Singleton] That impacts self awareness.
[Jane Singleton] I worked really long and hard with I always had the child be part of their learning support plan.
[Jane Singleton] We should not be hiding the details of a cognitive profile.
[Jane Singleton] I also think a huge mistake is both parents and mentors, as well as the kids, get overly obsessed with a label.
[Jane Singleton] It's really not the label, it's those cognitive characteristics. Right? What's your work memory, processing speed. I don't get too technical with my jargon because, you know, I live in that world, but I don't think it's as much of the label as, like, really understanding how your brain works so you can lean into your strengths, but also understand why do I need accommodation, why do I need help in this particular area, or why do I need to use a strategy, for example, to support my working memory or processing speed.
[Jane Singleton] Because you might agree with this.
[Jane Singleton] There is no buy in if I don't understand the why, especially with neurodivergent individuals.
[Jane Singleton] Like, the why could not be more important to motivation.
[Jane Singleton] So we're like so many people are like tiptoeing around and wanting to make it this, like, perfect compliment sandwich when we talk about the brain, and we need to be direct.
[Jane Singleton] And say, hey.
[Jane Singleton] This is, like, how this works.
[Jane Singleton] This is how you can grow it.
[Jane Singleton] Or in some cases, it's not that everything, like, grows perfectly and you can, like, fix it.
[Jane Singleton] I hate that idea of, like, fixing.
[Jane Singleton] I do believe in neuroplasticity, of course.
[Jane Singleton] And you have to learn how to work with your weaknesses just as much you have to learn to leverage your strengths.
[Chaya] I love, the fact that, you know, you, you work with children and work on showing their strengths.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] But label is is as you said, we don't want to get married to it, but it's giving us clues.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] It's giving us clues about our brain.
[Chaya] And so it is critical that we embrace it because it's it's telling us a lot of information.
[Chaya] And that's why parents should not look at it as a negative because there's a wealth of information, and we are not in any competition mode.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] We are on our own life journey.
[Chaya] And I think really important that we get that diagnosis and and then learn to work with it.
[Jane Singleton] A %.
[Chaya] And even even the less than is because the school systems are built for neurotypical individuals.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] And I always wonder if you put the neurotypicals in a school which is built for neurodivergent, they will also feel the lack.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] They're not there.
[Chaya] If you're constantly asking for thinking outside the box and if someone is a rule follower, and it it's they're gonna feel uncomfortable.
[Chaya] So it's not about, you know, one is greater than the other.
[Chaya] We all have something unique to offer, and just let's figure what that is.
[Chaya] Mhmm.
[Jane Singleton] I couldn't agree more, and I do wanna clarify.
[Jane Singleton] I'm not anti diagnosis.
[Jane Singleton] I think the diagnosis is important.
[Jane Singleton] I just think more time needs to be spent with the details because what I see trending is these really broad strokes of, like, ADHD means this, autism means this, ADHD means this.
[Jane Singleton] And the truth is every single cognate I've read thousands.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] Like, I've spent a lot of time in this work, and there is there's a lot of snowflake stuff.
[Jane Singleton] Because if we start making these broad strokes, we're leaning into that comparison piece.
[Jane Singleton] And quite frankly, we know that there's twice exceptional people that have immense strengths, and that does help them overcome some of the hardships of a particular diagnosis.
[Jane Singleton] It just looks different.
[Jane Singleton] And so that's just where I wanna find that balance for sure.
[Jane Singleton] And I think I think for sure socially, if we were to, like, build the, you know, this ideal school that was geared towards maybe neurodivergent individuals, it would look really different.
[Jane Singleton] But when I think it comes to learning, I'm really big on universal design for learning.
[Jane Singleton] I think a lot of the scaffolds that we put in place for neurodivergent individuals is just accessible for everybody.
[Jane Singleton] I have to say that.
[Jane Singleton] Like, I really truly believe if we were following, like, the clear standards for universal design for learning and the training of the teachers was, like, pretty much on point in the same way.
[Jane Singleton] And we mastered differentiation, which is, like, I feel like just an overused word with, like, a misunderstanding on so many levels.
[Jane Singleton] I that could be a whole show.
[Jane Singleton] But I do believe that the stuff that we do for learning, like, everyone can access it.
[Jane Singleton] It's the stigma societally and sometimes in the teaching profession or with people that don't understand neurodivergency.
[Jane Singleton] It's like they think you're dumbing it down, and that's not the case.
[Jane Singleton] You're scaffolding to build deeper insights and inferential thinking and critical thinking, and it's kind of like the stepping stool.
[Jane Singleton] I'm a tall person.
[Jane Singleton] I have a lot of short friends.
[Jane Singleton] Like, they need the stepping stool to reach the top cabinet.
[Jane Singleton] And I and the the belief is, how can we make the ladder accessible so that everyone can reach the top cabinet?
[Jane Singleton] And maybe not everybody needs the stairs, but we're not, like, cutting someone's education short by offering the stairs.
[Mike] There's a strong societal stigma when it comes to neurodiversity equals infantile equals I I you said dumbing it down because neurodiversity equals, you know, some sort of extreme learning disability.
[Mike] And I think that sort of infant infantile infantization that's been done through certain organizations and honestly through pop culture, I think.
[Mike] Misunderstanding what, you know, autism is and misunderstanding what ADHD is and all of that has has led to this idea that if you are changing any form of education, the purpose of it is to dumb it down, to make it easier for people to get and easier for some reason equals not as good.
[Mike] I think human nature has this way of thinking the only possible solution is always the hardest solution.
[Mike] Otherwise, it's not actually worth going for.
[Mike] I I'm a I'm a believer in work smarter, not harder Totally.
[Mike] In most cases.
[Jane Singleton] That's it's how how I sell all my services to kids.
[Jane Singleton] Do you would you like to spend less time on homework?
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] And and I think we've seen that most traditional education doesn't really work all that well, and there's not a lack of disinterest in learning from neurodivergent children or adults for that matter.
[Mike] If anything, there's probably more, especially if you're able to make learning kind of a special interest, which is what I was kind of adept at whenever I was a kid.
[Mike] And I was ended up being, like, pulled out of school, but thankfully, I was a nerd who liked learning, so I just kinda kept self teaching myself.
[Mike] But I like the idea of yeah.
[Mike] It's it's a scaffolding.
[Mike] Right?
[Mike] It's just building up a better system for everybody, So that way, it's all kind of on the same level.
[Mike] And to that end, it's it feels much more comforting for those who benefit maybe the most from it instead of feeling like, you know, there's the there's the short bus stigma, you know, things like things like that that still for some stupid reason perpetrates the zeitgeist.
[Mike] But letting everyone be on the same level, equitable education instead of, you you know, let's throw people into special neurodivergent classes, which can be very can be very traumatizing you if they're very positive experiences just because they're made to feel different.
[Jane Singleton] I could not agree more.
[Jane Singleton] And I really want to, like, build from your idea of this, like, idea of intellectual curiosity Because when I think about, like, that gift of the why, wanting to know the why before I do it, not only are you gonna find, like, the gaps and holes in, like, an organization's protocol to potentially make it more efficient, But when I think about being a lifelong learner, it's it's intellectual curiosity.
[Jane Singleton] And sometimes, right, I would traditional schooling, like, this is what we have to get to, these are the objectives, and it's like, why?
[Jane Singleton] I think every teacher would be a better teacher as much as we can connect things to the outside world, to people's, like, potential college or career goals, outside world, to people's, like, potential college or career goals.
[Jane Singleton] That's really, really important.
[Jane Singleton] And I even think, right, neurotypical people are a victim of, like, checking these boxes.
[Jane Singleton] Cool.
[Jane Singleton] This is what I have to do now.
[Jane Singleton] I have to get all a's and b's to get here.
[Jane Singleton] But there's a lot of neurotypical people that don't have intellectual curiosity, but they're able to kind of more robotically go through their motions, if you will.
[Jane Singleton] But they still they might be more challenged in the critical thinking piece, which I think is actually a strength in neurodivergent individuals, like, wanting to know the why and for sure, man.
[Jane Singleton] I again, I I avoid broad strokes, but some people with ADHD, do you think it's like, depending how your brain is set up, is like that ability to hold multiple ideas in your head, it might appear as if you're looking, like, distracted from a certain thing, but it allows you to build programs, complex ideas, sort of see how everything fits together.
[Jane Singleton] And what I work on with adults is, like, you have all these ideas, and then a lot of my clients that do have ADHD, it's organizing them so neurotypical people can follow it.
[Jane Singleton] Because oftentimes, the brain is working so quickly, and I I would say this is a pattern.
[Jane Singleton] You were asking about patterns earlier.
[Jane Singleton] What do I see?
[Jane Singleton] I see a lot of my clients that have ADHD.
[Jane Singleton] They have the context in their head, but they're not sharing it.
[Jane Singleton] And so that becomes ineffective communication.
[Jane Singleton] It is.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] You can't expect somebody to pick up on the details or the framework.
[Jane Singleton] It's just so clear to you.
[Jane Singleton] So, like, you assume.
[Jane Singleton] But we work on assumptions both I I work with leaders who are neurotypical.
[Jane Singleton] I don't specifically just work with neurodivergent individuals going back to how my skill set transfers.
[Jane Singleton] It's more understanding when are we making assumptions about what the other person knows, and that's, like, essential for leadership and moving the needle.
[Chaya] You said it so well, having multiple thoughts.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] It's not about getting rid of multiple thoughts.
[Chaya] That's our gift.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] It's about learning how to juggle those multiple thoughts and then kind of put them in order within that thirty seconds.
[Chaya] Like, right now, right, as I'm talking and just pick one thing out of the multiple thoughts and just trust to talk about that one thing.
[Chaya] Because if I'm paying too much attention on those multiple thoughts, I'm wasting my time and I'm going to stutter and all of that.
[Chaya] And which is fine.
[Chaya] That is totally fine.
[Chaya] But I'm thinking of the older me, you know, why was I always I had challenges with communication because there was so much of stress put on the perfection of the delivery that and nobody talked about how to juggle this multiple thoughts.
[Chaya] And so I think that's a gift.
[Chaya] As you said, it's an absolute gift, and learning is our growth.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] But it's not getting rid of those multiple.
[Jane Singleton] Mhmm.
[Jane Singleton] No.
[Jane Singleton] It's how do you harness those and then streamline them and organize your thoughts.
[Jane Singleton] I think one thing in this work that I've really noticed is we are not talking about language.
[Jane Singleton] We talk about organization.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] Materials time, timeliness.
[Jane Singleton] But I've seen a lot of patterns of organization of language, and that's a a huge area that I work on with my clients because it's hard to manage up without good language organization.
[Jane Singleton] And going back to how when you have it, I'll just say, if you have a neurotyp it's not even just a neurotypical boss.
[Jane Singleton] If you have someone who doesn't understand neurodivergent characteristics, and you're kind of whatever, in the dark, you're not giving appropriate feedback.
[Jane Singleton] I'm able to give appropriate to my feedback to my clients, and then they can actually work on their communication.
[Jane Singleton] But you can't work on something when you're not aware of it.
[Jane Singleton] I'm just gonna go back to that.
[Jane Singleton] And so if everybody's just, like, smiling and nodding at you, like, it's a disservice.
[Jane Singleton] And so that's what I work a lot on with parents.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, you know, being direct, if you're helping somebody grow, is, like, not a bad thing.
[Jane Singleton] It's a good thing.
[Chaya] Totally agree, especially about being direct because I what I experienced is in my son's middle school, nobody told us that he has ADHD.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] They were only dinging for him talking in class, and they used to give him a rubber band that he had to put it around his wrist and, like, hit himself with it, which is ridiculous.
[Chaya] But nobody ever told us.
[Chaya] I wish I wish they were direct.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] Because we had to change schools and then come back to the old school because he didn't like the new school.
[Chaya] There was so much of drama and trauma that we all went through as a family.
[Chaya] And me forcing my son to like a school that he didn't like.
[Chaya] All of that, I mean, that was my unawakened self.
[Chaya] So I wish people were direct.
[Chaya] It would have saved us a lot of time and energy.
[Chaya] And this because of that stigma, I know, and that all these rules that they have.
[Chaya] Oh, how do we tell a parent?
[Chaya] Why?
[Chaya] You know, I Gosh.
[Jane Singleton] I wanna do so many trainings on I can't tell you all of the hard conversations got dumped on me.
[Jane Singleton] I am proud of the fact that I'm good at hard conversations.
[Jane Singleton] And, like, teacher, we need to learn that skill.
[Jane Singleton] And I also wanna bring up the other piece that I see with, you know, bringing up potential, like, hey, I'm seeing this as an issue.
[Jane Singleton] You know, I don't think teachers should say, I think your child has ADHD.
[Jane Singleton] I mean, I don't really think that's appropriate, but say, hey, these are the patterns I'm seeing.
[Jane Singleton] Do you see that them at home?
[Jane Singleton] I also worry that people are being less honest when it's cross cultural communication because there's these limited beliefs.
[Jane Singleton] I've actually talked ad nauseam with other people who are not white because this is a concern of mine.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, it's actually creating bias and prejudice and not getting kids the help that they need.
[Jane Singleton] I mean, so much so, I'm not gonna say where, but I had an interview, like, many moons ago.
[Jane Singleton] I did not take the job.
[Jane Singleton] But they were pressing me.
[Jane Singleton] I have a very clear process for qualitative and quantitative data and, like, what would be my process and how would I communicate?
[Jane Singleton] And they're like, yeah.
[Jane Singleton] But how would you communicate with the family?
[Jane Singleton] I I they were I got their question.
[Jane Singleton] They were, like, referencing if it was a person of color.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, yeah.
[Jane Singleton] I'm not gonna, like, keep that information from a person of color.
[Jane Singleton] That's insane.
[Jane Singleton] Like, that's that is bias, and and I just didn't even know where they were trying to go with that.
[Chaya] I think people have their own political agenda out there and exactly.
[Chaya] So I I wish they were more honest and true and pure.
[Jane Singleton] And I think too I mean, going back to relationship, obviously, there is an there's an authentic piece.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] I think, hopefully, most people can read that energy, and, of you need to build that relationship.
[Jane Singleton] I think in order to have hard conversations and for them to be heard, there has to be trust.
[Jane Singleton] I can't think of anything more person like, personal than talking about a child's, like, growth or difficulties with a parent.
[Jane Singleton] Like, it is the most personal conversation you can have because parenting is very personal, and your child is very personal.
[Mike] I'm really taken with this the term and the idea of cognitive efficiency, and I was hoping you could talk a little bit more about that.
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Jane Singleton] So I love talking about this a little bit through my coaching lens because I think this is important, but also how do we kind of be aware of our own brain strengths without even getting formal testing?
[Jane Singleton] So for me, cognitive efficiency is you kind of have to start to identify patterns of, like, how you operate as a person.
[Jane Singleton] And so as well as, I would say, maybe personality traits.
[Jane Singleton] So, like, time management, if you do, like, an analysis of how you use your time, that's not just, like, oh, did I get up or did I follow through?
[Jane Singleton] Part of it might be, man, I was supposed to do this between eleven and 12PM, but somebody else asked me to do something else.
[Jane Singleton] And I'm a people pleaser, and I have to look helpful.
[Jane Singleton] So, like, there's an emotional component.
[Jane Singleton] And I would say, going back to habit shifting, which is what I specialize in, how do we analyze how we spend our time and look at it in a way of, like, these are my habits now, but in order to maintain like, you still have to operate in your capacity.
[Jane Singleton] Our capacity is limited.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] And emotional things and cognitive tasks drain are draining from the same bucket, and I think people forget that.
[Jane Singleton] We all reach our capacity.
[Jane Singleton] So the question is, like, are you aware of, like, these patterns of triggers that get you in a place where if it ups your anxiety, if you're dysregulated, you're no longer making good decisions anymore.
[Jane Singleton] And what boundaries could you have to not reach your capacity in that case?
[Jane Singleton] And that is related.
[Jane Singleton] It connects with cognitive efficiency in the sense that if you're at capacity, there's a great book called scarcity even, scarcity of time, scarcity of finances, social scarcity.
[Jane Singleton] But it talks about how if you are making decisions from that place, it impacts your fluid reasoning, which is a lot of your decision making.
[Jane Singleton] And it and it the research they did show that you'd you're at that moment, like, 13 or 14 IQ points lower.
[Jane Singleton] It's, like, really fascinating.
[Jane Singleton] But I really try to just leverage, like, what are your strengths and how are you leaning into those?
[Jane Singleton] And then what are your habits where where you're just going like this?
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] Perpendicular instead of along with what it is that you need to do.
[Jane Singleton] Because if we don't think about those things in microwaves, we can't really be that efficient because we're constantly getting distracted or, you know, getting caught up in emotional pieces.
[Jane Singleton] And, again, it's just kind of analysis of habits in that way.
[Jane Singleton] Is that helpful?
[Jane Singleton] I feel like it's a complex question.
[Mike] No.
[Mike] I love complex.
[Mike] No.
[Mike] And I really love just not only working leaning on your strengths, but also working with weaknesses and limitations may may be more even more appropriate way to call them because it's not a it's not a closed door.
[Mike] Right?
[Mike] It's it's not just a wall.
[Mike] It's maybe a fork in the road when you have to go down, like, a longer path to get to where you're going, but you don't have to keep, like, banging up against the wall and trying to get through it.
[Mike] And I think we are a lot of either mental health or even, you know, cognitive health modalities focus solely on strengths and maybe kind of inadvertently teach you to ignore your weaknesses or ignore your limitations.
[Mike] And I think there is actually a lot of strength that can be derived from your limitations and actually understanding them and being okay with them and seeing how you can properly utilize them to set yourself up for more success.
[Jane Singleton] %.
[Jane Singleton] Can you really be cognitive efficient if you are not aware and accepting of your weaknesses?
[Jane Singleton] Exactly.
[Chaya] You talked about universal design learning.
[Chaya] So I'm gonna ask you, if you had to create a school, just let's all imagine and That's the
[Jane Singleton] problem or fix.
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Chaya] If what how would you build a school using the universal design learning?
[Jane Singleton] So universal universal design for learning comes from the architecture term universal design, which I think we can all maybe envision is like from a physical space.
[Jane Singleton] Like how can everybody make their way around based on their needs.
[Jane Singleton] And so universal design for learning is when we're when instruction is available, it's like multimodal.
[Jane Singleton] And I think a huge missing piece for me if I was building a school is I like a school that lives in the gray.
[Jane Singleton] I'm not saying I'm still a big component of, like, get tested because knowing your brain if you're neurodivergent, I think is super important to being successful.
[Jane Singleton] But, like, I was just did a chat a chat the other day online, and I was they no one did there was a teacher, and they didn't know what universal design for learning was.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, what if just these accommodations, we made them just available?
[Jane Singleton] So one thing I did in school was like, great.
[Jane Singleton] Silencer headphones are should be in every classroom, and we can talk about, hey.
[Jane Singleton] Sometimes outside noise, like, bothers people, and let's play around.
[Jane Singleton] You can these are available to anyone in the room at any given time.
[Jane Singleton] Audiobooks should be there.
[Jane Singleton] Like, this doesn't going back to universal design.
[Jane Singleton] People are absent from school for a billion different reasons.
[Jane Singleton] Teachers can't go back and teach everything.
[Jane Singleton] So, like, even how do we set that up for someone?
[Jane Singleton] But even if I'm there and let's say I have slower processing speed and I really need a little bit more repetition to support my working memory, then I have some sort of access to, like, what happened in class online.
[Jane Singleton] Now I have to have the motivation and, like, hey, this is something my brain needs.
[Jane Singleton] And it's just, it's true.
[Jane Singleton] I think people that work really hard that might have learning needs, like, they actually have an amazing work ethic too.
[Jane Singleton] But how do we set that up and make these accommodations, like, somewhat universal and get kids to start to understand, like, hey, if you see these types of characteristics, like, this is what your brain needs, or this is what your body needs.
[Jane Singleton] So that's really where I would go with that.
[Jane Singleton] Some of those are, like, physical things, like the headphones or, like, you know, the squishy seats.
[Jane Singleton] I know these spinny stools were, like, worked wonders for a lot of kids that needed to to move.
[Jane Singleton] And then I think too, it's like a training for teachers of, like, we're all set in this, like, traditional, like, traditional schooling, so you feel like I have to teach like this.
[Jane Singleton] And I think as a teacher, it's like, where's my window of tolerance for neurodiverse characteristics?
[Jane Singleton] And how can I create a culture in which what Bobby needs is different from what Sarah needs?
[Jane Singleton] And where does that sit in my philosophy of redirection?
[Jane Singleton] One thing for sure, I've worked at all these private schools and built these programs, and it always really annoyed me.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, what is our philosophy for differentiation?
[Jane Singleton] Because if everybody is just choosing, nothing is consistent.
[Jane Singleton] And I think we know that when things aren't consistent, and I'm sitting here, well, why do I have to do it in this classroom and not in the other one?
[Jane Singleton] It's really hard to shift behaviors.
[Jane Singleton] There's no consistency.
[Jane Singleton] And I do think that's on the adults.
[Chaya] I agree.
[Chaya] And that what you're doing needs to be amplified.
[Chaya] Teach the teachers how to make that best use of their hour and not get stressed.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] If you're really if you don't know how to do it, because it's because we didn't teach them.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] Even the adults.
[Chaya] And that's why you're here to help them better manage and and not create trauma to children.
[Chaya] Because I know I a lot I mean, I've taken my whole life till now to get over that trauma of the science teacher or any other teacher or just the school system.
[Chaya] And so I think that's so important for teachers to know because we we're creating adults.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] Adult like, children are gonna be adults one day.
[Chaya] And what kind of adults do we want to create?
[Chaya] It's our responsibility.
[Chaya] And so it's really important that they learn the technique the right way.
[Jane Singleton] And I think the other piece, because I think there's a gray here and I wanna create some refinement, is like, I don't believe that when we're trying to grow people, right, there's gonna be a level of discomfort.
[Jane Singleton] So I don't think it's all like, oh, the adults, we're gonna, like, manage every sensory need.
[Jane Singleton] We're not preparing kids for the real world if we're, like, fully accommodating everything.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] I see it as, like, neurotypical, neurodivergent.
[Jane Singleton] Like, everybody sort of needs to meet in the middle.
[Jane Singleton] It's not this % accommodation piece.
[Jane Singleton] And we need we as adults, parents, teachers, like, we need to start modeling, like, what our needs are too.
[Jane Singleton] But in like, obviously in a thoughtful way, like, don't wait till you're just, like, irritated.
[Jane Singleton] You're, like, blowing up.
[Jane Singleton] But, like, I loved I actually had a client, and he was very clear about his mother needs.
[Jane Singleton] He was like, my mom has two nonnegotiables.
[Jane Singleton] She hates, like, she hates being late, and she hates being embarrassed in public.
[Jane Singleton] And as long as we don't do those things, like, we're fine.
[Jane Singleton] I don't think I've ever heard a kid, like, share that with me.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, that's awesome.
[Jane Singleton] Your mom is doing it right.
[Jane Singleton] And I adults underestimate me.
[Jane Singleton] We, like, treat kids like they're, like, too fragile.
[Jane Singleton] But if we can have, like, an emotionally regulated conversation and say, you know what?
[Jane Singleton] I've tried everything under the sun to get us out of the door on time.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, I don't like starting my day with yelling.
[Jane Singleton] Well, like, I'm open to your ideas, but I said, you need to understand, like, when I leave late, I get to work late, it impacts my boss, it might impact how much money I make.
[Jane Singleton] I mean, we don't have to pile on a crazy amount of stress, but kids don't connect those dots.
[Jane Singleton] Does that make sense?
[Jane Singleton] But do I believe in my heart they're empathetic?
[Jane Singleton] Heck yes.
[Jane Singleton] And I even shared with teachers.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, you know, I've had that morning.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] Your car doesn't start or whatever the heck happened.
[Jane Singleton] You're rushing into work.
[Jane Singleton] And then being a teacher is like you feel like you have to be a superhero.
[Jane Singleton] You're absorbing kids' emotions and parents' emotions, and then you're just supposed to reach all these outcomes.
[Jane Singleton] And I know I mean, I didn't use it all the time, but if I was really in a place, I said, hey, guys.
[Jane Singleton] I just wanna let you know I'm having a really hard day, and it's been kinda stressful.
[Jane Singleton] I'd really appreciate it if you could have some patience with me today.
[Jane Singleton] Best behaved they ever were.
[Jane Singleton] Because it was, like, authentic and real and vulnerable, and I didn't have to get into crazy details.
[Jane Singleton] But, again, I think modeling that you have emotions and that we all as adults also have capacity, not it's not issues, it's just human.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] It's human is so important, and I don't think we're doing that enough, period.
[Chaya] Communication is critical, and I'm I'm so glad you're working on that.
[Chaya] Just getting it out of your body and sharing it saves from a lot of trauma.
[Chaya] So just imagine if that child was not able to speak because the other person was not able to listen because listening is a huge part of communication.
[Chaya] And if they're not, they're going to hold it inside and they're going to grow.
[Chaya] And that feeling keeps growing and growing and growing and growing.
[Chaya] And then it's going to manifest in crazy ways as an adult.
[Chaya] Mhmm.
[Jane Singleton] And I think that leads to lying.
[Jane Singleton] I think a lot I get that question a lot.
[Jane Singleton] Why is my kid lying to me?
[Jane Singleton] I'm so supportive, and I'm like, a lot of it has to do with creating a, like, a safe environment for failure and engaging them in a collaborative process for for, like, what should you do?
[Jane Singleton] We should be tossing these questions.
[Jane Singleton] Again, I love coaching for this because how I help build awareness of my clients is just through really thoughtful inquiry.
[Jane Singleton] And if I just stopped it, I don't know, my clients would never grow.
[Jane Singleton] I can't tell them what the problem is.
[Jane Singleton] I've never been even though I've done this work for forever, and I do consider myself a specialist, man, my clients come up with some really creative strategies that I would have never named.
[Jane Singleton] And most importantly, they're the only people able to identify the right problem.
[Jane Singleton] Like, I I might assume, for example, it's time management.
[Jane Singleton] But what I realized with some of my clients that have ADHU is, like, it's really that hard piece of balancing what's a priority.
[Jane Singleton] This is high interest thing at a workplace.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] This is my high interest thing.
[Jane Singleton] This is what I prefer to do, but these are the timelines for, like, my boss's expectations.
[Jane Singleton] And, like, how do I manage when I'm given multiple tasks by different people in a workplace?
[Jane Singleton] I was like, wow, what a great functional life skill to think through.
[Jane Singleton] And then they have to think of a process that works for them.
[Jane Singleton] And so I do a lot where, like, my clients develop their own self questioning techniques that generalize to multiple situations in their life.
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] Going back to something you said about, you know, why does my kid lie to me?
[Mike] I I think there's an there's an interesting idea there about where this is kinda like forever back and forth between parent and child truth withholding comes from, which is, I as you said, children are able to process a lot more than we give them credit for.
[Mike] And I don't know where this societal idea that you have to lie to children all the time or withhold information or soften information in a lot of instances comes from.
[Mike] But all that really does is ultimately teach because they see the blow up comes afterwards.
[Mike] Well, it's like, well, if you were honest in the beginning, that probably wouldn't have happened, but all I see then is like, oh, my parent lied to me.
[Mike] So I'm learn I am now learning that you must withhold information for somebody else's feelings or for some other reason, and it creates a really vicious unfortunate cycle.
[Mike] And that's kinda where that comes from, was I idea that children need that because they are some sort of lesser being.
[Mike] And touching on something else about education and sort of, like, connecting it back to yourself, I think so much of what, like, traditional education is missing is actually showing everything you're learning has something to do with your personal development and not just, I'm I know.
[Mike] I'm not just learning history.
[Mike] I'm not just learning neuroscience.
[Mike] And it's because we're missing a lot of those pieces like, you know, neurodiversity should be taught in schools, you know, neuroscience in general should be.
[Jane Singleton] Totally.
[Jane Singleton] Everyone should take a psychology class.
[Mike] Yes.
[Mike] Psychology.
[Mike] I'm I've always said, like, philosophy should start in, like, elementary school, in my opinion.
[Mike] I think that would just open up a whole list of possibilities and creates a lot more emotional health in the population.
[Mike] But showing, like, all these things connect back, like, when you learn history, it's not like you're just putting information in your heads.
[Mike] It's like, no.
[Mike] This is actually, like, informing your view of your own personal world, like you're getting a purview of something.
[Mike] There's so much that goes into it and connects back to the neurodivergent need for why.
[Mike] Like, just knowing that always, like, carried me very far.
[Mike] Not just interested in the subject.
[Mike] I'm interested in the subject because I'm kind of getting something personally out of it.
[Jane Singleton] You know,
[Mike] I was always kind of like the nerdy kid who, like, read philosophy and existentialism and crap like that.
[Mike] So it was easy for me to, like, start connecting those dots, but we we're just missing that that piece where we're not just sitting down in a classroom, and this even extends to adults and, like, how we view careers and work environments.
[Mike] You know, we're not just sitting down to do certain tasks or or intake certain pieces of information, but we're doing it while more or less existing on a planet that's carries with it a lot of connotations in various relationships and various interactions, and everything we do has some sort of purposeful matter to it even if it doesn't seem like it.
[Mike] And I think the more we allow people to understand that, the more they're able to get some level of actual joy out of what they're doing.
[Mike] And, yes, I'm even able to extend that to if you're working like a kind of a dead end job.
[Mike] It's like you you can actually view it more as this is my dead end job.
[Mike] I'm going to go now and do something that I actually do find joy joyful instead of having this gray area between where there's not a lot of separation, which I think you see a lot of people fall into where they're just in this environment and that environment carries over to everything else because there's a certain level of indoctrination to you are your job.
[Mike] You know?
[Mike] When you're in school, you are a student.
[Mike] You know, it's that that needs, as you mentioned, for labelization.
[Mike] We as a society tend to, I think, to better understand things, we box them in so we can pretty much bullet points mentally out what everything is, but it's not helpful when everything exists on a spectrum, not just neurodiversity.
[Mike] Every every form of life exist on some sort of spectrum.
[Jane Singleton] I agree, and I like that you brought up I talk a lot about really identifying when I'm like, decision making frameworks.
[Jane Singleton] I work a lot with that because I think they should be based in values and capacity, and that's attached to motivation and and consistency and being authentic.
[Jane Singleton] But I talk a lot about passive versus active decision making.
[Jane Singleton] And so kind of going back to just connecting that to the lying piece, it is developmentally appropriate for kids to play with lying.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] That is a form of agency and a form of independence and a and honestly, a channel for learning consequences.
[Jane Singleton] Like, does it benefit me to lie, or does it not benefit me to lie?
[Jane Singleton] So while that's appropriate, like, I know kids, especially teenagers are in this, like, I want more independence, but they're not necessarily always showing that they're ready for that level of independence.
[Jane Singleton] And so I actually just did this class last week on decision making frameworks with high schoolers, because they're getting juniors and seniors are getting ready to transition into college.
[Jane Singleton] And I was like, how many decisions do you actually have control over right now?
[Jane Singleton] These little tiny decisions that we make each day.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] We make them socially.
[Jane Singleton] We we often decide what food we eat.
[Jane Singleton] And then, like, where is it that you're going?
[Jane Singleton] Because it's when we either swoop in too much, I think, as mentors or leaders, or, like, put them on this robotic path, that they forget that they're even making decisions and actually how much control they have over these small decisions that actually lead to something bigger each day.
[Jane Singleton] Like, if I'm deciding that communication skills aren't so great, I'm I'm having a hard time making friends, like, what are the small ways I can engage to push myself, right, building that capacity, building that skill, so that when I'm in this place of, like, starting completely all over in college, it's not so terrifying.
[Jane Singleton] And I think it's the same too for college to career.
[Jane Singleton] If I just focus, all I have to do is, like, sort of get these grades.
[Jane Singleton] I have unrealistic goals.
[Jane Singleton] I'm gonna say this out loud.
[Jane Singleton] Most people cannot make realistic goals.
[Jane Singleton] And what happens is then they're met with failure, they have a defeatist attitude, it impacts their motivation, why even try?
[Jane Singleton] Circular motion.
[Jane Singleton] They don't examine the process for how they got there.
[Jane Singleton] And like for college, we I think we can all agree, networking is huge.
[Jane Singleton] It is heartbreaking to me when I work with clients, and I'm like, great.
[Jane Singleton] Who could we connect with on LinkedIn that you might know from a class or a professor or just anyone you met?
[Jane Singleton] And they're walking away without anyone they're comfortable reaching out to.
[Jane Singleton] That's huge.
[Jane Singleton] That's a huge disadvantage.
[Jane Singleton] So how do you chip away?
[Jane Singleton] How do you understand the complex ending of, like, getting a job and all those small little shifts along the way that are important and relevant to being successful or being happy.
[Jane Singleton] Like, let's take success out of it because it's, like, such a big word, like, rigor.
[Jane Singleton] I mean, I'm a little over the word rigor too.
[Jane Singleton] But, like, let's just talk about happiness.
[Jane Singleton] I I mean, I also for someone who's late diagnosed neurodivergent, no one they haven't gotten the right diagnosis, they don't know how it works, and they're so passive and, you know, then they they say happiness is irrelevant.
[Jane Singleton] I just have to find a vocation.
[Jane Singleton] Like this like, I am stuck in this.
[Jane Singleton] If I haven't changed at this point, why would I change?
[Jane Singleton] That's heart wrenching, at least to me as a coach when I hear that because, let me tell you, digging out of that mindset hole is, like right?
[Jane Singleton] That's the difference between, like, 10 feet under versus two feet under.
[Jane Singleton] It undoing takes a lot of time.
[Chaya] I agree.
[Chaya] I think so much to talk about.
[Chaya] I'm like, what do I talk about?
[Chaya] I I love decision making, and and I think we've not been taught how to make decisions, especially teenagers because and it's having helicopter parents.
[Chaya] I'm I'm just thinking of that combination.
[Chaya] The parent who's making all the decision, and then the child goes off to college and and then they're like they just do things impulsively.
[Chaya] And the child has also lost the trust with the parent, which is crucial.
[Chaya] Anyway, in my own life, I made that shift when my son was in eleventh grade, and we have a beautiful relationship.
[Chaya] And my our son calls and, you know, we talk about stuff.
[Chaya] And I really wish that for every parent because you have that opportunity, that window of time in high school where you can build that trust and that relationship between parents and children, and which will continue when they leave the house.
[Mike] Can you think of where Launchpad could, reach and expand to?
[Mike] What what are your kind of maybe goals for that going into the future?
[Jane Singleton] I mean, as you can imagine, my passion is, like, accessibility is really important.
[Jane Singleton] I, like, totally understand that everyone can't pay for one to one coaching services, and that makes sense.
[Jane Singleton] And my goal is I when I say my goal is to write a, like, workbook style type book with kind of case studies, but mostly, like, how how can we use, like, language framing?
[Jane Singleton] What are questions that you can think about to sort of identify your own problems, build your self awareness?
[Jane Singleton] But ultimately, courses.
[Jane Singleton] So courses for parent coaching, how do I language frame, how am I coaching versus dictating, and college career transition courses.
[Jane Singleton] I'm trying to get, I think, undoing, as I said, is much harder, so I do obviously offer services for that, but I my goal is to work with people before they're transitioning, so they don't feel so defeated.
[Jane Singleton] They're not at the finish line being like, okay.
[Jane Singleton] What now?
[Jane Singleton] I can't do these 15 things now to make myself be successful.
[Jane Singleton] So courses and group coaching, because I think community is important.
[Jane Singleton] I think a lot of sometimes my clients will feel like they're the only ones struggling with this piece, and I think everyone's looking to connect with other people that maybe share the same thought process.
[Jane Singleton] And so these online live courses, because I think the questions develop allow for, you know, group coaching in that way, and building those skills, and really digging into, like, how do I make a plan for myself and think about the stepping stones and understand, like, what's realistic and defining those things.
[Jane Singleton] And then ultimately, I can't leave this out.
[Jane Singleton] Organizational training.
[Jane Singleton] Neurodiversity one on one.
[Jane Singleton] Like, how do I identify how can I give thoughtful feedback that actually impacts change?
[Jane Singleton] Number one.
[Jane Singleton] How do I lean into hard conversations?
[Jane Singleton] I think every manager should have a training on that.
[Jane Singleton] How does NICE get in the way?
[Jane Singleton] I could write an article on that.
[Jane Singleton] I could do an orientation on that.
[Jane Singleton] Leadership development, I think, which every leader should know about neurodiverse characteristics as a whole.
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] And probably end up inadvertently revealing some of their own along the way.
[Mike] Maybe ends up happening.
[Mike] Because there is I mean, there is, I think, a lot of work trauma neurodivergent people go through in regards to people above them misunderstanding how they operate or how they think and also thinking that they're lesser because of it.
[Mike] It's not lesser.
[Mike] It's just different.
[Mike] Like, they're still capable of the same things that another employee, a neurotypical employee, is capable of.
[Mike] I run some support groups and, yes, I have the power of groups and getting everyone having the up the ability to see, like, everybody else's everybody else's answer to a question and see the other viewpoints of kind of like the same the same situation.
[Mike] But in those groups, I run into a lot of neurodivergent individuals who've been fired, you know, just gone through, like, horrible, horrible job related trauma because of bosses that just would flip out, would finally, like, have enough or would expect a ridiculous level of sometimes even going so far, it feels like where if you're neurodivergent, you're expected as if you can do more complex tasks, which I've seen a couple times, which is interesting.
[Mike] I think it's the misunderstanding like, oh, no.
[Mike] If you're if you're autistic, you must be, like, really good at math.
[Mike] You know, that kind of thing.
[Jane Singleton] Like at the savant theory.
[Jane Singleton] It's, like, really annoying.
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Mike] I hate that.
[Mike] I hate that so much.
[Mike] I think we got really stuck on that actually after the nineties.
[Mike] The nineties were very this conversation with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago.
[Mike] Nineties were very obsessed with, like, the child savants, the child chess master kind of thing that everyone want kinda wanted their kid to to be and put it like a lot of a lot of unnecessary inappropriate pressure on a lot of nineties kids.
[Mike] I've I've kind of slowly discovered just like everybody kinda had a very similar experience of if you got an a that somehow meant you were now a child savant and all of your parents were then bragging to everybody that you were a child savant, which then put a lot of pressure on you to keep and, like, I was just doing normal schoolwork.
[Mike] But
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Jane Singleton] And we also don't talk about brilliance.
[Jane Singleton] So, right, again, we have a culture that values brilliance and has not made that connection of how important it is to know the weaknesses.
[Jane Singleton] And I am here to tell you, having spent thirteen years with clinical psychologists, I've worked with exceptional kids.
[Jane Singleton] Let's talk about what's not so pleasant about being gifted.
[Jane Singleton] There's some really hard, hard if we're really talking about, right, exceptional, there are some really hard emotional pieces to that.
[Jane Singleton] Immensely hard.
[Jane Singleton] I I tell you, I've met somebody in middle school.
[Jane Singleton] I was like, I'm pretty sure this girl's gonna cure cancer.
[Jane Singleton] And, like, the stress, there's other components there that play, I think, yeah, that you have to manage.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] There's weaknesses there.
[Jane Singleton] There's hardship there.
[Jane Singleton] There's a lot of pressure there.
[Jane Singleton] And how do you regulate all those things when your brain is, like, years above your, like, social level, and how do you connect with other people?
[Jane Singleton] It's we should be talking about both sides of that.
[Jane Singleton] It's very annoying we don't.
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] We should always be talk we should be talking about both sides of everything because so much we talk only about the goods.
[Mike] When we talk only about the good, I'm big component of, like, no.
[Mike] Let's talk about the negative stuff and, like, get it out in the open.
[Mike] Like, it's the yin and the yang.
[Mike] Like, it's on equal footing to all of the positives, and there is, like, a lot of undue pressure, especially with how much society puts on IQ, which we already know is broken anyway, as a as a measure of intelligence.
[Mike] But all because you're capable of something, it's automatically assumed that you are you are on that level emotionally as well, and that is not really the case often.
[Mike] There's a lot in the background.
[Mike] There's a lot of background noise that's going on there.
[Mike] And the more that's sort of ignored, the more then that noise gets louder and louder and builds up because the individual is not allowed to express it or safely deal with it, especially because it ends up being invalidating.
[Jane Singleton] And then let's just talk about potential as potential.
[Jane Singleton] I like to make the dating reference of, like, you know, I think we've all dated somebody for their potential.
[Jane Singleton] That doesn't always work out well.
[Jane Singleton] And I think intellectually, and I tell parents this because I believe I mean, this shouldn't come as a shock.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] You get your kid tested.
[Jane Singleton] They're but he's this high on his, like, intelligence test in math.
[Jane Singleton] And I'm like, yeah.
[Jane Singleton] He also has to do, like, the work.
[Jane Singleton] It's not like you come out of the womb and then, like, everything is easy.
[Jane Singleton] It's tied to other influential factors.
[Jane Singleton] If he can't explain the math and he can't show his work, right, that's that's also right.
[Jane Singleton] He's not gonna develop the next, like, scientific mathematical theory because you do have to show your work, and it's just potential.
[Jane Singleton] Right?
[Jane Singleton] Like, this testing is, like, this idea of potential, and I think some people must really misinterpret that piece.
[Jane Singleton] It's like you can I call it like it's like a motor, but like do you know how to use the the powerful motor that's in your brain?
[Jane Singleton] And like do you is there like a specific developmental stage?
[Jane Singleton] Like, it's not like if they can't use it by middle school that it's all lost on them.
[Jane Singleton] I'd love to actually ask you guys, when do you think you hit your, like, I don't wanna say intellectual private.
[Jane Singleton] When were you, like, oh, man.
[Jane Singleton] I I'm really reaching my potential now, if that makes sense.
[Jane Singleton] Like, I don't even for me, I don't even think it honestly happened in school.
[Mike] Oh, yeah.
[Mike] I mean, it would have been, like, twenties easily.
[Mike] It would have been way after late twenties, if anything.
[Mike] I mean, in school, I was and like I said, I was pulled out at one point, but I I was good.
[Mike] I I was fine, but there wasn't anything, like, particularly magic about anything that I was doing, and I hadn't really I think you have to also find your specific niche inside the larger niche.
[Mike] Like, you have to find the place where your brain starts to, like, click and go like, oh, I belong here now.
[Mike] Like, it you kind of feel it.
[Mike] You're you're able to feel it out and whatever sort of modality that that falls into, and it can come at any point in your life.
[Mike] Like, I that's why, you know, never say, like, you've hit your peak, you know, at at for a certain like, you can hit your peak whenever.
[Mike] Like, it does
[Jane Singleton] You can always evolve.
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] Yeah.
[Mike] You can always find it.
[Mike] Like, that's one of the beautiful things about the human brain is, like, we can kinda just keep going.
[Chaya] I think I think intelligence reaches its peak when you are aligned to your interest.
[Chaya] Right?
[Chaya] It's there's always that we're not brilliant at everything, and I'm not even interested in rocket science, for instance.
[Chaya] You know, that's not my area of interest, but psychology has always been human behavior.
[Chaya] And and so that's why it's it's important for us to see where that passion is, where our interest is.
[Chaya] And and when we align with that, our intelligences just reach its peak.
[Jane Singleton] Yeah.
[Jane Singleton] I think I would agree the interest piece and then just being able to put all the pieces together.
[Jane Singleton] And yeah.
[Jane Singleton] Life is a mystery.
[Jane Singleton] Life is a mystery.
[Jane Singleton] Life is a mystery.
[Chaya] And we are constantly evolving and growing.
[Chaya] Yeah.
[Chaya] Such a fun conversation with you today.
[Jane Singleton] No.
[Jane Singleton] It's lovely.
[Jane Singleton] I I really appreciate the conversation with you all as well.
[Mike] Yes.
[Mike] Thank you so much for wanting to come on the show and talk to us.
[Mike] This has been great.
[Mike] And I remember Launchpad kinda came on my radar a little while ago, actually.
[Mike] So I was kind of excited for
[Jane Singleton] Oh, good.
[Mike] To come on to talk about it because I thought it was cool.
[Mike] So how can people reach out to Launchpad for life and reach out to you?
[Jane Singleton] Okay.
[Jane Singleton] So my website launchpadforlife.org, there's a contact information form on there as well as my email.
[Jane Singleton] And if you wanna I do free consults if somebody's curious about my coaching process or if an organization's interested in what trainings I could offer.
[Jane Singleton] So that's all available on my website, launchpadlearningforlife@gmail.com is my contact.
[Jane Singleton] And then I always encourage people to, connect with me on LinkedIn because sometimes I'll schools will host free events and I'll be speaking or I host my own free events.
[Jane Singleton] I'm all about just the education piece is important to me, and so I try to make that accessible.
[Jane Singleton] So any of those channels work for me.
[Mike] Awesome.
[Mike] Thank you so much again for coming on.
[Mike] It's been really great.
[Mike] And, of course, for Spark Launch, we can always be found at sparklaunchpodcast.com.
[Mike] If you enjoy this show, please rate and review us on your favorite podcasting platform.
[Mike] Of course, you can find us also on forms of social media, which you can find along with all the links for Launchpad for Life in the show notes below or wherever the hell you're listening to us for us here at Spark Launch.
[Mike] We will see you next time.